Introduction
According to tradition, Queen Elizabeth I so enjoyed the character of Falstaff in Henry IV that she commissioned another play from Shakespeare, one that would portray the wayward knight in love. It is a light hearted farce which somehow managed to inspire a most serious opera: Verdi’s Falstaff. The late great Harold Bloom bemoans this ‘pseudo-Falstaff’ as a humiliating imposter merely masquerading as the great Sir John Falstaff. Furthermore he suggests that Shakespeare himself clearly wrote the play in haste in order to satisfy the royal edict and holds it in contempt, loathing both the play and himself for having yielded to its creation. Certainly Shakespeare was a very busy playwright in 1597, having just written and staged the highly regarded masterpiece, Henry IV, Part I, starring the astonishingly popular character of Falstaff, and was presently writing the sequel, Henry IV, Part II, again starring Sir John and Prince Hal/King Henry IV, when Queen Elizabeth intervened with her hurried royal request. And it was expected to be completed and performed in time for the ceremony honouring the newly elected knights on the occasion of the Feast of St George on 23 April at Windsor Castle. No doubt it appears a tad rushed and was reportedly completed in a fortnight.
And yet The Merry Wives of Windsor has long been regarded as one of the finest and best constructed bourgeois farces in all of dramatic history. Its busy plot and well humoured gusto play out superbly well on stage and it remains one of the Bard’s most popular comedies in performance. As excruciating as it was for Harold Bloom to have to endure seeing the supreme wit of his beloved Sir John Falstaff being usurped into such a mindless laceration, this story of the lovable rogue getting his comeuppance at the hands of the women he hopes to take advantage of proves a comic formula of great aptitude and design. Merry Wives is undoubtably a very amusing play, made unfortunate by the royal insistence that the protagonist be the masterful Sir John Falstaff reimagined as a buffoon, bereft of all has famous wit and eloquence.
Falstaff is definitely the star of the play, as he brings chaos and an irrepressible optimism to an otherwise dull and bourgeois Windsor. The housewives he thinks he can seduce easily turn the tables on him, subjecting him to one humiliation after another. Most of the well known baudy characters from Henry IV’s Boar’s Head Tavern are back, featuring Falstaff’s partners in crime, Pistol, Nym and Bardolph and the landlady of the tavern, Mistress Quickly. Everyone conspires to humble and humiliate Sir John, as he was want to humble and humiliate everyone else, in Henry IV. Rendered witless by Shakespeare’s almighty pen, he is an easy target of the Merry Wives and their many supporters. But in the end, all is forgiven and good amusement is shared by all. There is a secondary plot involving Anne, the daughter of one of the wives, as she is courted by three men and only in the end manages to win the man she loves.
Had Shakespeare not transformed his most intelligent character to date and one of fictions most immortal wits, who speaks some of the most vital prose in the English language, into a string of humiliating and buffoonish fat man jokes, then there would be no controversy and this accomplished farce would be appreciated merely for being precisely that by nearly everyone. Perhaps the challenge we face is in not comparing the Falstaff of Merry Wives to his earlier genius manifestation, and therein and we may suddenly find ourselves face to face with a devastatingly funny and fresh new play, the likes of which Shakespeare will never write again. After all, Queen Elizabeth loved the play she commissioned as well as both parts of Henry IV. If she could do it, why can’t we?
Act I
Scene I
Windsor. Before the Page’s house
Enter Justice Shallow, Slender and Sir Hugh Evans, a Welsh parson
Shallow: “Sir Hugh, persuade me not; if he were twenty Sir John Falstaff’s, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.”
Slender: “Justice of the Peace and a gentleman born.”
Shallow: “Ay, cousin Slender.”
Evans: “If John Falstaff has committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you.”
Shallow: “The council shall hear it. O, my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.”
Evan: “There is Anne Page, who is daughter to Master George Page, and is pretty virginity.”
Slender: “Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair.”
Evans: “And seven hundred pounds of money and gold and silver, all hers when she is seventeen years old.”
Shallow: “I know the gentlewoman; she has good gifts.”
Evans: “Seven hundred pounds is goot gifts.”
Shallow: “Well, let us see honest Master Page.”
Evans: “Shall I tell you a lie? The knight, Sir John, is there.”
They knock
Page: “Who’s there?”
Evans: “Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and young Master Slender.”
Page: “I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow. I am glad to see you, good master Slender.”
Shallow: “Is Sir John Falstaff here?”
Page: “Sir, he is within.”
Shallow: “He has wronged me, Master Page.”
Page: “Sir, he does in some sort confess it.”
Shallow: “If it be confessed, it is not redressed. He has wronged me; indeed he has; believe me.”
Page: “Here comes Sir John.”
Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym and Pistol
Falstaff: “Now, Master Shallow, you’ll complain of me to the king?”
Shallow: “Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer and broke open my lodge.”
Falstaff: “But not kissed your keeper’s daughter. I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is now answered. Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me?”
Slender: “Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your rascals, Bardolph, Nym and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, made me drunk and afterward picked my pocket.”
Bardolph: “Your Banbury cheese.”
Slender: “Ay, it is no matter.”
Falstaff: “Pistol, did you pick master Slender’s purse?”
Pistol: “Word of denial. Froth and scum, thou lies.”
Falstaff: “What say you, Bardolph?”
Bardolph: “Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five senses.”
Slender: “Tis no matter; I’ll never be drunk while I live again. If I be drunk, I’ll be drunk with those who have the fear of god, and not with drunken knaves.”
Evans: “That is a virtuous mind.”
Falstaff: “You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.”
Enter Mistress Anne Page with wine; Mistress Ford and Mistress Page following
Falstaff: “Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met; by your leave, good mistress.”
He kisses her
Page: “Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have hot venison pasty for dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.”
Exit all but Shallow, Slender and Evans
Evans: “Give ear to his motions, Master Slender. The question is concerning your marriage.”
Shallow: “Ay.”
Evans: “To Mistress Anne Page.”
Slender: “Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.”
Shallow: “Cousin Slender, can you love her?”
Slender: “I hope, sir.”
Shallow: “That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? Can you love the maid?”
Slender: “I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and have more occasion to know one another. I hope upon familiarity will grow more contempt. But if you say ‘marry her’, I will marry her.”
Evans: “His meaning is good.”
Shallow: “Ay, I think my cousin meant well.”
Re-enter Anne Page
Shallow: “Here comes fair Mistress Anne. Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!”
Anne: “The dinner is on the table; my father desires your company.”
Exit Shallow and Evans
Anne: “Will it please your worship to come in, sir?”
Slender: “No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.”
Anne: “The dinner attends you, sir.”
Slender: “I am not hungry, I thank you, forsooth.”
Anne: “I may not go in without your worship; they will not sit till you come.”
Slender: “In faith, I’ll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.”
Anne: “I pray you, sir, walk in.”
Slender: “I had rather walk here, I thank you. I cannot abide the smell of hot meat. Why do your dogs bark so? Be there bears in the town?”
Anne: I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.”
Slender: “You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?”
Anne: “Ay, indeed, sir.”
Slender: “Women, indeed, cannot abide them; they are very ill-favoured rough things.”
Re-enter Page
Page: “Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.”
Slender: “I’ll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.”
Page: “You shall not choose, sir! Come, come.”
Slender: “Nay, pray you lead the way.”
Page: “Come on, sir.”
Slender; “Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.”
Anne: “Not I, sir; pray you keep on.”
Slender: “Truly, I will not go first. I will not do you that wrong.”
Anne: “I pray you, sir.”
Slender: “I’d rather be unmannerly than troublesome.”
Summary and Analysis
In this opening scene we encounter many of the principle characters of the play. Falstaff, the star of Henry IV, Parts I and II, encounters Mistress Page and Mistress Ford, the ‘merry wives’ he will attempt to seduce and be thoroughly humbled and humiliated by. The husbands of these ladies are also presented here. They too will ensure the shame of the renowned knight. Then there is Anne Page and one of her suitors, Slender. These are the two main storylines of The Merry Wives of Windsor. This is a play very much about marriage. The elder Page and Ford couples will ensure the preservation of theirs and young Anne will endeavor to select the appropriate partner for her nuptuals.
Falstaff is at the Page house with his usual entourage. Shallow, a local justice, accuses Falstaff of beating his men, killing his deer, beating Slender and stealing his wallet. Falstaff and his men admit to everything except stealing the wallet. Evans, a churchman, apparently has made a proposal to Ann Page on behalf of Slender. Slender is good with that but says that even if there is no love between them to begin with, it might further decrese as they got to know one another. Hmmm.
Act I
Scene ii
Before Page’s house
Enter Evans and Simple, a servant to Slender
Evans: “Go your ways, and ask of Dr Caius’ house which is the way; and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his cook, or his washer and his wringer.’
Simple: “Well, sir.”
Evans: “Give her this letter, which is to desire and require her to solicit your master’s desires to Mistress Anne Page.”
Summary and Analysis
Evans gives a letter for Simple to deliver to Dr Caius’ house, requesting Mistress Quickley’s help in convincing Anne Page to marry Slender. As we will soon see, there are several suitors to Anne, including Dr Caius himself.
Act I
Scene iii
The Garter Inn
Enter Falstaff, a host, Bardolph, Nym and Pistol
Falstaff: “My host of the Garter!”
Host: “What says my bully rook? Speak scholarly and wisely.”
Falstaff: “I must turn away some of my followers. I sit at ten pounds a week.”
Host: “Thou art an emperor – Caesar, Kaisar. I will entertain Bardolph.”
Falstaff: “Do so, my good host. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade. Go; adieu.”
Bardolph: “It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.” (exit)
Falstaff: “I am glad I am so acquited of this tinderbox: his thefts were too open. Which of you know Ford of this town?”
Pistol: “He is of substance good.”
Falstaff: “My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.”
Pistol: “Two yards and more.”
Falstaff: “No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the waist two yards about; but I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford’s wife; I spy entertainment in her; she gives the leer of invitation.”
Pistol: “He has studied her well.”
Nym: “The anchor is deep.”
Falstaff: “Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband’s purse. I have written me here a letter to her; and here another to Page’s wife, who even now gave me good eyes too. I will be cheaters to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me. Go, bear thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive.” (exit)
Pistol: “Let Lucifer take them.”
Nym: “Here, take these humorous letters; I will keep my reputation.”
Exit Falstaff
Nym: “I have operations in my head which be humours of revenge.”
Pistol: “Will thou revenge?”
Nym: “With both the humours, ay. I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.”
Pistol: “And I to Ford.”
Nym: “I will incense Page to deal with poison; for the revolt of mine is dangerous. That is my true humour.”
Pistol: “I second thee; troop on.”
Summary and Analysis
Falstaff lays open his plan to seduce the two merry wives, Mistresses Page and Ford. They are attractive and hold the purse-strings in their marriages, so he hopes to benefit greatly from these affairs. But when he asks Pistol and Nym to deliver the letters he has written to the women they refuse, choosing to behave respectfully and, in fact, plot revenge on Falstaff by revealing his plot to the husbands of the merry wives. There is much double dealing in this simple farce, as Pistol and Nym betray their dubious master. This is as light a work of pure entertainment as Shakespeare will ever pen.
Act I
Scene iv
Doctor Caius’s house
Enter Mistress Quickly, Simple and Doctor Caius’s servant, Rugby
Quickly: “John Rugby! I pray thee go see if you can see my master, Doctor Caius, coming. (exit Rugby) An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; his worst fault is that he is given to prayer; but let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is?”
Simple: Ay, for fault of a better.”
Quickly: “And Slender is your master?”
Simple: “Ay, forsooth.”
Quickly: “Tell Master Evans I will do what I can for your master. Anne is a good girl.”
Re-enter Rugby
Rugby: “Here comes my master.”
Quickly: “Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. (shuts Simple in the closet) He will not stay long.” (singing)
Enter Doctor Caius
Caius: “Vat is it you sing? Go and fetch me in my closet a box, a green box.”
Quickly: “Is it this, sir?”
Caius: “Dere is some simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld leave behind.”
Quickly: “Ay, me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad!”
Caius: “O diable! Vat is in my closet? Villainy! (pulling Simple out) Rugby, my rapier!”
Quickly: “Good master, be content. The young man is an honest man.”
Caius: “What shall da honest man do in my closet. Dere is no honest man dat shall come to my closet.”
Quickly: “Hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from Parson Evans.”
Caius: “Peace a your tongue. Speak a your tale.”
Simple: “To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage.”
Quickly: “This is all, indeed. (aside to Simple) I am glad he is so quiet. But notwithstanding, man, I’ll do your master what good I can. But not withstanding – my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page.”
Caius: “You jack’nape, give-a this letter to Sir Evans; I will cut his troat in da park; and I will teach a scurvy priest to meddle. You may be gone.” (exit Simple)
Quickly: “Alas, he speaks but for his friend.”
Caius: “Did not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By god, I will kill da priest! I will myself have Anne Page.”
Quickly: “Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well.”
Exit Caius and Rugby
Quickly: “You shall have – a fools head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind; never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than I do.”
Enter Fenton
Fenton: “How now, good woman, how does thou?”
Quickly: “The better that it pleases your good worship to ask.”
Fenton: “What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?”
Quickly: “In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one who is your friend.”
Fenton: “Shall I not lose my suit?”
Quickly: “Troth, sir, all is in His hands above; but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn she loves you.”
Fenton: “Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf. If thou sees her before me, commend me. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.”
Quickly: “Farewell to your worship. (exit Fenton) Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not.”
Summary and Analysis
This scene is all about the various men courting Anne Page. We already know that Slender has hopes of marrying Anne, and now we can add Doctor Caius and Fenton. Mistress Quickly is right in the middle of the entire ordeal, and she claims Mistress Anne loves none of them, even though they all think she is advocating for them. Act I ends with both plot lines signifcantly advanced. We know that Falstaff plans to attempt the seduction of the Merry Wives, even though both women and his very own minions have plotted against him and we see that Anne has at least three suitors, none of whom she seems the least bit interested in, at least according to Mistress Quickly.
Act II
Scene i
Before Page’s house
Enter Mistress Page, with a letter
Mrs Page: “What! I have escaped love letters in the holiday time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me see.”
(reads)
‘Ask me no reason why I love you. You are not young, and no more am I. You are merry and so am I; ha! ha! You love sack and so do I. Let it suffice thee, Mistress page – at the least, if the love of soldier can suffice – that I love thee. Pity me, but I say, love me. Thine own true knight, by day or night, or any kind of light, with all his might, for thee to fight, John Falstaff.’
“What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked world! One who is well-nigh worn to pieces with age to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour has this Flemish drunkard picked, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he has not been twice in my company! What should I say to him? Heaven forgive me! Why, I’ll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men. How shall I be revenged on him? For revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of pudding.”
Enter Mistress Ford
Mrs Ford: “Mistress Page, trust me, I was going to your house.”
Mrs Page: “And trust me, I was coming to you.”
Mrs Ford: “O MIstress Page, give me some counsel.”
Mrs Page: “What’s the matter, woman? What is it?”
Mrs Ford: “If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, I could be knighted.”
Mrs Page: “What? Thou liest. Sir Alice Ford!”
Mrs Ford: “Here, read, read; percieve how I might be knighted. What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tons of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust has melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like?”
Mrs Page: “Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here’s the twin brother of thy letter. I warrant he has a thousand of these lettrs, written with blank spaces for different names.”
Mrs Ford: “Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very words. What does he think of us?”
Mrs Page: “Let’s be revenged on him; let’s appoint him a meeting, give him a show of comfort in his suit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay.”
Mrs Ford: “I will consent to act any villainy against him that may not sully our honesty. O that my husband saw this letter! It would give eternal food to his jealousy.”
Mrs Page: “Why, look where he comes; and my good man too; he’s as far from jealousy as I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance.”
Mrs Ford: “You are the happier woman.”
Mrs Page: “Let’s consult together against this greasy knight. Come hither.”
They exit
Enter Ford with Pistol and Page with Nym
Ford: “Well, I hope it be not so.”
Pistol: “Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs. Sir John affects thy wife.”
Ford: “Why, sir, my wife is not young.”
Pistol: “He woos both high and low, both rich and poor, both young and old, Ford.”
Ford: “Love my wife!”
Pistol: “With liver burning hot. Prevent. O odious is the name!”
Ford: “What name, sir?”
Pistol: “The horn, I say. Farewell. Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by night.”
Exit Pistol
Ford: (Aside) “I will be patient. I will find out this.”
Nym: (to Page) “And this is true. He has wronged me in some humours. He loves your wife; there’s the short and the long of it. Tis true. My name in Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife.”
Exit Nym
Ford: “I will seek out Falstaff.”
Page: “I never heard of such a drawling, affecting rogue.”
Enter Mrs Page and Mrs Ford
Mrs Ford: “How now, sweet Frank, why art thou melancholy?”
Ford: “I melancholy! I am not melancholy. Get you home; go.”
Mrs Ford: “Faith thou has some crochets in thy head now. Will you go, Mistress Page?”
Enter Mistress Quickly
Mrs Page: (aside to Mrs Ford) “Look who comes yonder; she shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.”
Mrs Ford: (aside to Mrs Page) “Trust me, I thought on her; she’ll fit it.”
Mrs Page: “You have come to see my daughter, Anne?”
Quickly: “Ay, forsooth; and, I pray, how does good Mistress Anne?”
Mrs Page: “Go in with us and see; we have an hour’s talk with you.”
Exit Mrs Page, Mrs Ford and Mrs Quickly
Ford: “You heard what this knave told me, did you not?”
Page: “Yes, and you heard what the other told me?”
Fprd: “Do you think there is truth in them?”
Page: “Hang em, slaves! These who accuse him in his intent toward our wives are a yoke of his discarded men; very rogues, now they be out of service. If he should intend this voyage toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and when he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head.”
Ford: “I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loathe to turn them together. A man may be too confident. I cannot be thus satisfied.”
Enter Host
Page: “How now, my host!”
Host: “How now, bully rook!”
Enter Shallow
Shallow: “Good even and twenty, good Master Page! Will you go with us? We have sport in hand.”
Host: “Tell him.”
Shallow: “Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor.”
Ford: “Good my host of the Garter, a word with you.”
Host: “What say thou, my bully rook?”
They go aside
Shallow: (to Page) “Will you go with us to behold it?”
They converse apart
Host: “Has thou no suit against my knight?”
Ford: “None, I protest; but I’ll give you a bottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is Brook – only for a jest.”
Host: “And thy name shall be Brook.”
Page: “I have heard that the Frenchman has good skill in his rapier.”
Exit all but Ford
Ford: “Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wife’s frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily. She was in his company at Page’s house, and what they made there I know not. Well, I will look further into it, and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, tis labour well bestowed.”
Summary and Analysis
Mistress Page reads her letter from Falstaff and is astonished that the fat old knight would be so bold. Then Mistress Ford arrives with the identical letter. The two women figure he writes this same letter to every woman and they begin to plot their revenge on Falstaff. They decide to lead him on in order to humiliate him. Pistol and Nym have turned against Falstaff for his many wrongs against them. They claim they want to go straight and confess Falstaff’s intentions to both Mr Page and Mr Ford. Page trusts his wife to merely give Falstff a verbal lashing but Ford fears what might happen if he does not intervene, so he assumes a false name and asks the host to grant him access to Falstaff. The Merry Wives decide to use Mistress Quickly to relay their messages to Falstaff. The set up is nearly complete and the fat knight has no idea what he is in for. As an aside, Shallow invites everyone to come watch the duel arranged between Sir Hugh and Doctor Caius. This is a play about marriage and Shakespeare explores just what it means to be a good wife and a good husband and to have a good marriage. Clearly Page trusts his wife more than Ford trusts his. The wives are both trustwothy indeed, as their only plan is to plot revenge upon Falstaff, who would otherwise seek to unravel both marriages with his sexual advances.
Act II
Scene ii
A room in the Garter Inn
Enter Falstaff and Pistol
Falstaff: “I will not lend thee a penny. Not a penny.”
Pistol: “Why, then the world’s my oyster. which I with sword will open.”
Falstaff: “Not a penny. I am damned in hell for swearing to gentlemen my friends you were good soldiers and tall fellows. At a word, hang no more about me. Go to your manner of pickt-hatch; go. You’ll not bear a letter for me, you rogue!”
Enter Robin
Robin: “Sir, here’s a woman who would speak with you.”
Falstaff: “Let her approach.”
Enter Mistress Quickly
Quickly: “Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?
Falstaff: “I’ll vouchsafe you the hearing.”
Quickly: “There is one Mistress Ford, sir.”
Falstaff: “Well, what of her?”
Quickly: “Why, sir, she’s a good creature and this is the short and long of it: you have brought her into such a canaries as tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet there have been knights and lords and gentlemen, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift in silk and gold that would have won any woman’s heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye wink from her.”
Falstaff: “But what says she to me?”
Quickly: “Marry, she has received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you to no notify that her husband will be absent from his house between ten and eleven.”
Falstaff: “Ten and eleven?”
Quickly: “And then you may come. Alas, the sweet woman leads an ill life with him! He’s a very jealous man.”
Falstaff: “Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her.”
Quickly: “Why, you say well. But I have another messenger to your worship. Mrs Page has her hearty commendations to you too; and she bade me tell your worship that her husband is seldom from home, but she hopes there will come a time; surely I think you have charms.”
Falstaff: “Not I, I assure thee; setting the attractions of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. Fare thee well; commend me to them both. There’s my purse; I am yet thy debtor.” (Exit Quickly) ”This news distracts me.”
Enter Bardolph
Bardolph: “Sir John, there’s one Master Brook would fain speak with you and has sent your worship a morning’s draught of sack.”
Falstaff: “Brook is his name?”
Bardolph: “Ay, sir.”
Falstaff: “Call him in. Such Brooks are welcome to me, who overflow such liquor.”
Enter Ford, disguised as Brook
Ford: “Bless you, sir.”
Falstaff: “And you, sir. Would you speak with me? What is your will?”
Ford: “Sir, I am a gentleman; my name is Brook.”
Falstaff: “Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you.”
Ford: “Truth, I have a bag of money here that troubles me; if you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage.”
Falstaff: “Master Brook; I shall be glad to be your servant.”
Ford: “There is a gentlewoman in this town and her husband’s name is Ford. I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, bestowed much upon her, followed her with a doting observance; engrossed opportunities to meet her; briefly, I have pursued her as love has pursued me. But whatsoever I have merited, I have received none.”
Falstaff: “Have you importuned her to such a purpose?”
Ford: “Never.”
Falstaff: “Of what quality was your love, then?”
Ford: “Like a fair hose built on another man’s ground.”
Falstaff: “To what purpose have you unfolded this to me?”
Ford: “Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your place and person, generally allowed for your many war-like, court-like and learned preparations.”
Falstaff: “Oh, sir!”
Ford: “Believe it, for you know it. there is money; spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford’s wife; use your art of wooing; win her to consent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as any.”
Falstaff: “Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection, that I should woo what you would enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.”
Ford: “O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on the excellence of her honour that the folly of my soul dares not present itself. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves; I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too too strongly embattled against me. What say you to it, Sir John?”
Falstaff: “Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford’s wife.”
Ford: “Oh, good sir!”
Falstaff: “I say you shall. I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment; even as you came into me her go-between parted from me; I say I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous, rascally knave, her husband, will be forth.”
Ford: “I am blessed in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir?”
Falstaff: “Hang him, poor cuckholdly knave! They say the jealous knave has masses of money; for the which his wife seems to me well favoured. I will use her as the key to the cuckholdly rogue’s coffer.”
Ford: “I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him if you saw him.”
Falstaff: “Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor over the cuckhold’s horns. Master Brook, thou shall know I will predominate over. the peasant, and thou shall lie with his wife. Ford’s a knave and I will aggravate his style. Come to me soon as night.”
Exit Falstaff
Ford: “What a damn’d Epicurean rascal is this! My heart is ready to crack with impatience. My wife has sent for him; the hour is fixed; the match is made. Would any man have thought this? See the hell of having a false woman! My bed shall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawed at; and I stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him who does me this wrong. But cuckhold! Cuckhold! The devil himself has not such a name. Page is an ass; he will trust his wife; he will not be jealous; I would rather trust Parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, than my wife with herself. Then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises. God be praised for my jealousy! Eleven o’clock the hour. I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff and laugh at Page. I will about it; better three hours too soon than a minute too late. Fie, fie fie! Cuckhold! Cuckhold! Cuckhold!”
Summary and Analysis
Falstaff has a falling out with Pistol and Nym, which isolates Sir John, as they partake in the plot to humiliate him. Mistress Quickly is working for Mistresses Ford and Page and convinces Falstaff that Mrs Ford is flattered by the letter she has received from Falstaff and wishes that he come to her house between ten and eleven, when her husband will be away. She also tells him that Mrs Page is likewise smitten by him and is merely waiting for a time when her husband is also away, so he can come to her house as well. Falstaff falls for this complicity and the plot is hatched. To make matters worse, Bardolph tells Sir John that a certain Master Brook wants to meet with him. Mr Ford is disguised as Master Brook and further entraps Sir John by claiming that he will pay Falstaff very well to seduce Mistress Ford for him, so as to loosen her up for Master Brook. Sir John agrees, all the while slandering Mr Ford, not realizing that he is speaking directly to him all the while. Ford is furious and vows revenge on Falstaff. Pistol, Nym, Mistress Quickly, Bardolph, the Merry Wives and their husbands have all plotted against Falstaff, who is about to walk into the trap.
Act II
Scene iii
A field near Windsor
Enter Caius and Rugby
Caius: “Jack Rugby! Vat is de clock, Jack?”
Rugby: “Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.”
Caius: “By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no come; by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.”
Rugby: “He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he came. Forebear, here’s company.”
Enter the Host, Shallow, Slender and Page.
Host: “Bless thee, bully doctor!”
Shallow: “Save you, Master Doctor Caius!”
Page: “Now, good Master Doctor!”
Caius: “Vat be all you, one, two three, four, come for?”
Host: “To see thee fight. Is he dead, my hert of elder? Ha, is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?”
Caius: “By gar, he is de coward jack priest of de vorld; he is not show his face.”
Shallow: “He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. Master Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. You must go with me.”
Host: “A word, Monseur Mockwater.”
Caius: “Mock-vater! Vat is dat?”
Host: “Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.”
Caius: “By gar, then I have as much mockwater as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.”
Host: “He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.”
Caius: “Clapper-de-claw! Vat is dat?”
Host: “That is, he will make thee amends.”
Cais: “By gar, me vill have it.”
Host: “And I will provoke him to it.”
Caius: “Me tank you for dat.”
Host: “Master Guest, Master Page and Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.”
Pafe: “Sir Hugh is there, is he?”
Host: “He is there and I will bring the Doctor about by the fields.”
Shallow: “We will do it.”
Exit Page, Shallow and Slender
Caius: “By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.”
Host: “Let him die. Go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is and thou shall woo her.”
Caius: “By gar, my tank you vor dat; by gar, I love you.”
Host: “For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page.”
Caius: “By gar, tis good; vell said.”
Summary and Analysis
Doctor Caius has been waiting in a field for Evans to arrive for their duel. Instead Page, Slender, Shallow and the Host arrive although Hugh Evans is nowhere to be seen. The Host keeps insulting Doctor Caius with English slang that Caius the Frenchman does not know. The Host assures him that his insults are actually complimentary and they go off together to seek out Anne Page, for whom they are actually rivals.
Act III
Scene i
A field near Frogmore
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple
Evans: “I pray you now, friend Simple, which way have you looked for Master Caius?”
Simple: “Marry, sir, every which way.”
Evans: “Bless my soul, how full of cholers I am, and trembling of mind! Mercy on me! I have a great disposition to cry.”
Enter Page, Shallow and Slender
Slender: (aside) “Ah, sweet Anne Page.”
Page: “Save you, good Sir Hugh.”
Evans: “Bless you, all of you.”
Page: “We are come to you to do a good office, Master Parson.”
Evans: “Very Well; what is it?”
Page: “Yonder is a most reverend gentleman. I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the renowned French physician.”
Evans: “I had as well you would tell me of a mess of porridge.”
Page: Why?”
Evans: “He is as cowardly a knave as you would desire to be acquainted with.”
Slender: (aside) “O, sweet Anne Page.”
Shallow: “Here comes Dr Caius.”
Enter Host, Caius and Rugby
Host: “Disarm them and let them question; let then keep their limbs whole and hack our English.”
Caius: “Vill you not meet-a-me?”
Evans: “In good time.”
Caius: “You are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.”
Evans: “Pray you, let us not be laughing stocks to other men’s humours; I desire you in friendship.”
Caius: “Jack Rugby! Have I not stayed for him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did appoint?
Evans: “As I am a Christian soul, this is the place appointed.”
Host: “Peace, I say! Shall I lose my doctor? No; he gives me the potions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? No; he gives me the proverbs. I have deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong places. Come, lay your swords and follow me, lads of peace.”
Slender: (aside) “O sweet Anne Page.”
Exit all but Caius and Evans
Evans: “This is well. I desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together to be revenged on this scurvy companion, the host of the Garter.”
Caius: “By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.”
Evans: “Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you follow.”
Summary and Analysis
Simple leads Evans to find the field where Dr Caius will be but they seem hopelessly lost and Evans has no stomach for dueling with Caius. Once they encounter Caius the Host ensures there will be no duel, as he does not want to lose either his doctor or his priest. He admits that he has led them to the wrong place. Caius and Evans decide to team up against the Host, who has deceived them about the location and about meeting Anne Page. Meanwhile Slender wanders about sighing the name of Anne Page. Fenton, Caius, Slender and the Host are all hopeful of wooing Anne Page in this secondary plot. English audiences would have enjoyed the banter between the French Doctor Cais and the Welsh Parson and their butchering of the English language. As the host declares, ‘let them keep their limbs whole and hack our English.’
Act III
Scene ii
A street in Windsor
Enter Ford
Ford: “Has Page any brains? Has he any eyes? Has he any thinking? Our revolted wives share damnation together. (clock strikes) The clock gives me my cue; there I shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather praised for this than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is there. I will go.”
Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans and Caius.
Ford: “Trust me, I have good cheer at home and I pray you all go with me.”
Shallow: “I must excuse myself, Master Ford.”
Slender: “And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I’ll speak of.”
Shallow: “We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin, Slender.”
Slender: “I hope I have your good will, father Page.”
Page: “You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you.”
Host: “What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he smells April and May; he will carry it.”
Page: “Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having: he kept company with the wild Prince and Poins. My consent goes not that way.”
Ford: “I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster. Master doctor, you shall go, Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh.”
Summary and Analysis
Ford believes that Page is foolish to trust his wife with Falstaff. The clock strikes 10 and Ford prepares to catch Falstaff with his wife and Page, Evans and Caius join him. The trap is set and we are about to see Falstaff humbled and humiliated.
Act III
Scene iii
Ford’s house
Enter Mrs Ford and Mrs Page
Mrs Page: “Quickly! Where is the laundry basket, the buck-basket?
Enter servants with a laundry basket
Mrs Ford: “Here, set it down. John and Robert, be ready here, and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and take this basket upon your shoulders. That done, trudge with it in all haste and empty it into the muddy ditch by the Thames. Be gone, and come when you are called.”
Exit servants
Enter Robin
Mrs Ford: “How now, what news with you?”
Robin: “My master, Sir John, has come in at your back door and requests your company.”
Mrs Page: “Thou art a good boy. I’ll go hide.”
Mrs Ford: “Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone.”
Exit Robin and Mrs Page
Falstaff: “Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel? O, this blessed hour.”
Mrs Ford: “O sweet Sir John.”
Falstaff: “Mistress Ford, I cannot prate. Now shall I sin in my wish; I would thy husband were dead; I would make thee my lady.”
Mrs Ford: “I your lady, Sir John? I should be a pitiful lady.”
Falstaff: “Let the court of France show me such another. What made me love thee? Let that persuade thee there’s something extraordinary in thee. I love thee, none but thee; and thou deserves it.”
Mrs Ford: “Do not betray me, sir; I fear you love Mistress Page.”
Falstaff: “Thou might as well say I love to walk by the Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.”
Mrs Ford: “Well heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one day find it.”
Falstaff: “Keep in that mind; I’ll deserve it.”
Robin: (within) “Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! Here’s Mistress Page at the door, sweating and blowing and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.”
Falstaff: “She shall not see me; I will ensconce me behind the arras.”
Mrs Ford: “Pray you, do so; she is a very tattling woman.”
Falstaff hides himself
Enter Mrs Page
Mrs Page: “O Mistress Ford, what have you done? You’re shamed, you are overthrown, you are undone for ever.”
Mrs Ford: “What’s the matter, good Mistress Page, what’s the matter?”
Mrs Page: “Your husband’s coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman who he says in here now in the house, by your consent, to take ill advantage of his absence. You are undone.”
Mrs Ford: “Tis not so, I hope.”
Mrs Page: “Pray heaven it be not so; but tis most certain your husband is coming, with half of Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you. If you know yourself clear, why, I am glad of it; but if you have a friend here, convey him out. Call all your senses to you; defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.”
Mrs Ford: “What shall I do? There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and I fear not my own shame so much as his peril. I had rather than a thousand pounds he were out of the house.”
Mrs Page: “For shame! Your husband’s here at hand; bethink you of some conveyance; O, how have you deceived me! Look, here is a basket; if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and throw foul linen upon him. Send him by your two mean to the muddy ditch by the Thames.”
Mrs Ford: “He is too big to go in there. What shall I do?”
Falstaff: (coming forward) “Let me see it, O, let me see it! I’ll in; follow your friend’s counsel; I’ll in!”
Mrs Page: “What, Sir John Falstaff! (aside to Falstaff) Are these not your letters, knight?”
Falstaff: (aside to Mrs Page) ” I love thee and none but thee; help me away. Let me creep in here.”
Falstaff gets into the laundry basket and they cover him with foul linen
Mrs Page: “Call your men, Mistress Ford. You dissembling knight.”
Enter servants
Mrs Ford: “Go, take up these clothes here quicky; carry them to the laundress in Datchet Mead; quickly, come.”
Enter Ford, Page, Caius and Sir Hugh Evans
Ford: “Pray you come near. If I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me; then let me be your jest, as I deserve it. How now, whither bear you this?”
Servant: “To the laundress, forsooth.”
Mrs Ford: “Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle with buck-washing.”
Ford: “Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck! Buck! Buck! Ay, buck!”
Exit servants with the basket
Ford: “Gentlemen, here be my keys; ascend my chambers, search, seek, find out. I’ll warrant, we’ll unkennel the fox.”
Page: “Good Master Ford, be contented; you wrong yourself too much.”
Evans: “This is fery fantastical homours and jealousies.”
Caius: “By gar, tis no the fashion of France; it is not jealous in France.”
Page: “Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search.”
Exit Ford, Evans, Page and Caius
Mrs Page: “Is there not a double excellency in this?”
Mrs Ford: “I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceived, or Sir John.”
Mrs Page: “What a taking was he in when your husband asked who was in the basket!”
Mrs Ford: “I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so throwing him in the water will do him a benefit.”
Mrs Page: “Hang him, dishonest rascal.”
Mrs Ford: “I think my husband has some special suspicion of Falstaff’s being here, for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy until now.”
Mrs Page: “I will lay a plot to try that, and we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff. His dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.”
Mrs Ford: “Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water, and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?”
Mrs Page: “We will do it; let him be sent for tomorrow at 8 o’clock.”
Enter Page, Ford, Caius and Evans
Mrs Ford: “Heaven made you better than your thoughts!”
Ford: “Amen.”
Mrs Page: “You do yourself mightily wrong, Master Ford.”
Ford: “Ay, ay; I must bear it.”
Page: “Fie, fie, Master Ford, are you not ashamed? What devil suggested this imagination? I would not have your distemper for all the wealth of Windsor Castle.”
Ford: “Tis my fault, Master Page, and I suffer for it.”
Evans: “You suffer for a bad conscience. Your wife is as honest a woman among five thousand.”
Caius: “By gar, I see tis an honest woman.”
Ford: “Well, I promised you a dinner. Come; I pray you pardon me; I will hereafetr make known to you why I have done this. Come, wife, come, Mistress Page; pray heartily, pardon me.”
Page: “Let’s go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we’ll mock him. I do invite you tomorrow morning to my house for breakfast.”
Summary and Analysis
Mistresses Ford and Page conspire and prepare for Falstaff’s arrival at Mrs Ford’s house. They have prepared a laundry basket which they plan to stuff him into, along with foul linens, as his only means of escaping Mr Ford when he returns home searching for the fat knight. Sure enough John Falstaff arrives, vowing his love and expressing his wish that her husband were dead. Just then Mistress Page arrives announcing in haste that Mrs Ford’s husband is arriving with half the officers in town in tow to search for Falstaff. The women suggest they stuff him into the laundry basket and cover him with soiled linens. He hastily agrees, whispering his love to Mrs Page before climbing in with the dirty laundry. Mrs Ford calls her two servants to carry the laundry basket down to the Thames just as Mr Ford arrives with his entourage. Ford intends to find Falstaff and orders the men to thoroughly search the house as the servants leave with the basket containing Sir John. Naturally, the men do not find anyone and the two women enjoy the trick they played on Falstaff and the jealous husband, Ford, who the group shame for not trusting his wife. The prank was a definite win-win for the merry wives, who have enjoyed the scene so thoroughly that they plot to entrap Falstaff again. This is the stuff of pure comedy, even though for many admirers of the great comic genius of Falstaff, remembered well for his wit and pathos from Henry IV, seeing the beloved knight humiliated in a basket of dirty laundry and dumped into the muddy Thames is a bit much. This is what Queen Elizabeth asked for, and apparently she was very well pleased.
Act III
Scene iv
Before Page’s house
Enter Fenton and Anne Page
Fenton: “I see I cannot get thy father’s love. He does object that my state being galled with my expenses, I seek to heal it only by his wealth. Besides this, other bars he lays before me: my riotous past, my wild societies; and he tells me tis a thing impossible I should love thee.”
Anne: “Maybe he tells you true.”
Fenton: “No! Albeit, I will confess thy father’s wealth was the first motive that I woo’d thee, Anne; yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value than stamps in gold, and tis the very riches of thyself that now I aim at.”
Anne: “Gentle Master Fenton, yet seek my father’s love; still seek it, sir.”
They step aside
Enter Shallow, Slender and Mistress Quickly
Shallow: “Be not dismayed.”
Slender: “No, she shall not dismay me.”
Quickly: “Hark ye, Master Slender would speak a word with you.”
Anne: “I come to him. (aside) This is my father’s choice. O, what a world of vile ill-favoured faults looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year!”
Quickly: “And how does good Master Fenton?”
Shallow: “Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.”
Slender: “Ay, that I do.”
Shallow: “He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.”
Slender: “Ay, I will come under the degree of a squire.”
Shallow: “He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds.”
Anne: “Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself. Now Master Slender, what is your will?”
Slender: “My will! That’s a pretty jest indeed! I have never yet made my will. I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.”
Anne: “I mean, Master Slender, what would you with me?”
Slender: “Truly, for my own part I would little or nothing with you. Your father and my uncle have made motions; if it be my luck, then so; if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go better than I can. You may ask your father; here he comes.”
Enter Page and Mistress Page
Page: “Now, Master Slender! Love him, daughter Anne – Why, how now, why is Master Fenton here? You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house. I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of.”
Mrs Page: “Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.”
Page: “She is no match for you.”
Fenton: “Sir, will you hear me?”
Page: “No, good Master Fenton. You wrong me.”
Exit Page Page, Shallow and Slender
Quickly: “Speak to Mistress Page.”
Fenton: “Good Mistress Page: “Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter in such a righteous fashion as I do, I must advance the colours of my love, and not retire. Let me have your good will.”
Anne: “Good mother, do not marry me to yonder fool.”
Mrs Page: “I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.”
Quickly: “That’s my master, Master Doctor.”
Anne: “Alas, I had rather be set quick in the earth, and bowled to death with turnips.”
Mrs Page: “Come, Master Fenton, my daughter will I question how she loves you, and as I find her, so am I affected.”
Exit Mrs Page and Anne
Quickly: “This is my doing now: ‘Nay’, said I why will you cast away your child on a fool or a physician? Look on Master Fenton’. This is my doing.”
Fenton: “I thank thee; and I pray thee, give my sweet nan this ring. There’s for thy pains.”
Quickly: “Now heaven send thee good fortune!” (Exit Fenton) “A kind heart he has; a woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I would my master had Mistress Anne; or I would Master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I wish Master Fenton had her. I will do what I can for all three, for so have I promised, and I’ll be as good as my word. Well, I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses.”
Summary and Analysis
Fenton confesses to Anne that her father has rejected him as a suitor, preferring the very simple Slender. She urges him to continue to try to win over her father. Clearly, Fenton is her personal choice for a marriage partner. When Slender arrives Shallow tends to do all the talking, but when Anne asks that Slender speak for himself all that he says is nonsensical, finally admitting that Page and Shallow have made all of the arrangements for him to marry her and saying that he’ll be just fine if it doesn’t work out. When Page arrives he insists that Fenton explain why is is still hanging around, since he will never marry his daughter. Mistress Quickly suggests to Fenton that he speak to Mrs Page, who insists that she will not force Anne to marry Slender, and although she prefers Dr Caius, she promises to speak to Anne about Fenton. Quickly seems to know everyone in Windsor and makes lots of tip money relaying secrets and running errand between various people. She is receiving favours from all three men interested in Anne, hoping not to have her duplicity exposed. Anne, for her part, clearly favours Fenton, although her father supports the imbecile Slender and her mother prefers Dr Caius, who is considerably older and barely speaks English.
Act III
Scene v
The Garter Inn
Enter Falstaff and Bardolph
Falstaff: “Bardolph, I say! Go fetch me a quart of sack. (Exit Bardolph) Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a butcher’s offal, and to be thrown into the Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick, I’ll have my brains taken out and buttered, and give them to a dog for a new year’s gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned a blind bitch’s puppies, fifteen in the litter; and you may know by my size that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking. I had been drowned but that the shore was shelvy and shallow – a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man, and what a thing should I have been when I had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.”
Enter Bardolph
Bardolph: “Here’s Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you.”
Falstaff: “Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my belly’s as cold as if I had swallowed snowballs. Call her in.”
Enter Mistress Quickly
Quickly: “Marry, sir, I come to your worship from Mistress Ford.”
Falstaff: “Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough; I was thrown into the ford; I have my belly full of ford.”
Quickly: “Alas the day, good heart, that was not her fault. She laments, sir, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine. She’ll make you amends, I warrant you.”
Falstaff: “Well, I will visit her. Tell her so; and bid her think what a man is. Let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.”
Quickly: “I will tell her. Peace be with you, sir.”
Exit Mistress Quickly
Falstaff: “I marvel I hear not of Master Brook. I like his money. O, here he comes.”
Enter Ford disguised as Mr Brook
Ford: “Bless you, sir.”
Falstaff: “Now, Master Brook, you come to know what has passed between me and Ford’s wife.”
Ford: “That, indeed, Sir John, is my business.”
Falstaff: “Master Brook, I will not lie to you: I was at her house the hour she appointed me. But her husband, Master Brook, dwelling in a continual larum of jealousy, comes in the instant of our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, and, as it were, spoke the prologue to out comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, provoked and instigated by his distemper and, forsooth, to search his house for his wife’s lover.”
Ford: “What, while you were there?
Falstaff: “While I was there.”
Ford: “And did he search for you, and could not find you?”
Falstaff: “You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one Mistress Page, and, in her invention, they conveyed me into a laundry basket.”
Ford: “A laundry basket!”
Falstaff: “By the lord, a laundry basket. Rammed me in with foul shirts and smocks, greasy socks, that, Master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended a nostril.’
Ford: “And how long lay you there?”
Falstaff: “Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus crammed into the basket, a couple of Ford’s knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress to carry me in the name of foul clothes upon their shoulders. They met their jealous master at the door, who asked them once or twice what they had in the basket. I quaked with fear lest the lunatic knave would have searched it; but fate, ordaining that he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well, on went he for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, Master Brook – I suffered the pangs: first, and of three separate deaths: first, an intolerable fright to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-weather; next, to be compassed like a good bilbo in the circumference of a peck, heel to head; and then, to be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease. It was a miracle to escape suffocation. And when I was more than half stewed in grease, to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled in the surge. Think of that, Master Brook.”
Ford: “In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all of this. My suit, then, is desperate; you’ll undertake her no more.”
Falstaff: “Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into the Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding, and I have recieved from her another embassy of meeting; twixt eight and nine is the hour, Master Brook.”
Ford: “Tis past eight already, sir.”
Falstaff: “Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure and the conclusuion shall be crowned with your enjoying her. Adieu. You shall have her, Master Brook; you shall cuckold Ford.”
Exit Falstaff
Ford: “Hum! Ha! Is this a vision? Is this a dream? Do I sleep? Master Ford, awake, awake. Well, I will now take the lecher; he is at my house. He cannot escape me; tis impossible he should. But, lest the devil who guides him should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not shall not make me tame. If I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me – I’ll be horn mad.”
Summary and Analysis
Falstaff, soaking wet, explains to Bardolph how he had to drag himself out of the Thames after being dumped from Mrs Ford’s laundry basket, but then Mistress Quickly arrives with news that Mrs Ford hopes to see him again, as her husband will be out between 8-9 that evening. At first he is reluctant, having been through enough, but she convinces him that this time it will be worth it and he agrees. Ford arrives disguised as Master Brook and Falstaff explains to him that he had just begun wooing Mrs Ford when Mr Ford arrived with a crowd. He explains the whole laundry basket and Thames fiasco and Ford asks if Falstaff is done with Mrs Ford and Falstaff reveals that he is returning to her house between 8-9 this evening. Ford is certain he will catch Falstaff this time. Poor Falstaff has no clue that Master Brook is actually Mr Ford himself and that Quickly has set him up with Mrs Ford and Mrs Page’s conniving.
Act IV
Scene i
A street in Windsor
Enter Mrs Page and Mistress Quickly
Mrs Page: “Is Falstaff at Mr Ford’s already?”
Quickly: “Sure he is, or will be presently.; but truly he is very mad about being thrown into the water. Mrs Ford desires you to come suddenly.”
Summary and Analysis
Mrs Page and Mistress Quickly discuss Falstaff and then the scene becomes purely comical as Mrs Page and her son William encounter Sir Hugh Evans. She tells him that William does not seem to be learning much at school so Evans grills William about his lessons in English, but his Welsh accent mangles the language so badly it is no wonder little William is not learning much in the way of English. As Quickly listens to Evans she misinterprets practically everything as sexual innuendos and slang.
Act IV
Scene ii
Ford’s house
Enter Falstaff and Mistress Ford
Falstaff: “Mistress Ford, your sorrow has eaten up my sufferance. But are you sure of your husband now?”
Mrs Ford: “He’s a-birding, sweet Sir John.”
Enter Mistress Page
Mrs Ford: “Step into my chamber, Sir John.”
Mrs Page: “How now, sweetheart, who’s at home besides yourself?”
Mrs Ford: “Why, none but my own people.”
Mrs Page: “Truly, I am glad you have nobody here.”
Mrs Ford: “Why?”
Mrs Page: “Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again. He rails against all married mankind and curses all Eve’s daughters, that any madness I ever yet beheld seemed but tameness, civility and patience, to this his present distemper. I am glad the fat knight is not here.”
Mrs Ford: “Why, does he talk of him?”
Mrs Page: “Of none but him; and swears he was carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket; protests to my husband that he is here now, and has drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion. I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.”
Mrs Ford: “How near is he, Mrs Page?”
Mrs Page: “Hard by, at street’s end; he will be here anon.”
Mrs Ford: “I am undone; the knight is here.”
Mrs Page: “Why then, you are utterly shamed, and he’s but a dead man. What a woman are you! Away with him, away with him; better shame than murder.”
Mrs Ford: “Which way should he go? Shall I put him into the basket again?”
Enter Falstaff
Falstaff: “No, I’ll come no more in the basket. May I not go out?”
Mrs Page: “Alas, three of Master Ford’s brothers watch the door with pistols.”
Falstaff: “What shall I do? I’ll creep up into the chimney.”
Mrs Ford: “He will seek there, on my word. There is no hiding you in the house.”
Falstaff: “I’ll go out then.”
Mrs Page: “If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir John. Unless you go out disguised.”
Mrs Ford: “How might we disguise him?”
Mrs Page: “I know not! There is no woman’s gown big enough for him.”
Falstaff: “Good hearts, devise something.”
Mrs Ford: “My maid’s aunt, the fat woman of Brainford, has a gown above.”
Mrs Page: “On my word, it will serve him; she’s as big as he. Run up, Sir John.”
Mrs Ford: “Go, go, sweet Sir John. Mrs Page and I will look for some linen for your head.”
Mrs Page: “Quick, quick, put on the gown.”
Exit Falstaff
Mrs Ford: “But is my husband coming?”
Mrs Page: “Ay. Let’s go dress him like the witch of Brainford. Hang him! We cannot misuse him enough. Wives may be merry and yet honest too.”
Exit Mrs Page
Enter Mrs Ford with two servants
Mrs Ford: “Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders; your master is guard at the door; if he bid you set it down, obey him.”
Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius and Sir Hugh Evans
Ford: “Set down the basket, villain! Somebody call my wife. Now shall the devil be shamed. I say, what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching.”
Enter Mrs Ford
Ford: “Come hither, Mistress Ford; Mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature I suspect without cause!”
Mrs Ford: “Heaven be my witness, you do, if you suspect me of any dishonesty.”
Ford: “Well said, brazen-face. Come forth, sirrah.”
Ford pulls clothes out of the basket
Mrs Ford: “Are you not ashamed? Let the clothes alone.”
Ford: “I shall find you anon. Empty the basket, I say.”
Mrs Ford: “Why, man, why?”
Ford: “Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this basket. Why may not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is; my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable. Pluck me out all the linen.”
Page: “There is no man.”
Ford: “Well, he’s not here I seek for?”
Page: “No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.”
Ford: “Help to search my house this one time. If I find not what I seek, let me forever be your table sport. Satisfy me once more; once more search with me.”
Mrs Ford: “Mistress Page! Come you and the old woman down.”
Ford: “Old woman? What old woman is that?”
Mrs Ford: “Why, its my maid’s aunt of Brainford.”
Ford: “A witch. Have I not forbid her in my house. She works by charms and spells. Come down, you witch, you hag, you.”
Mrs Ford: “Good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman.”
Enter Falstaff dressed in old woman’s clothes, with Mistress Page.
Mrs Page: “Come, mother Prat; give me your hand.”
Ford: ” I’ll prat her. (beating Falstaff) Out of my door, you witch, you hag, you baggage. I’ll conjure you. I’ll fortune tell you.”
Exit Falstaff
Mrs Page: “Are you not ashamed? I think you have killed the old woman.”
Ford: “Hang her, the witch!”
Evans: “I like not when a witch has a great beard.”
Ford: “Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you to see the issue of my jealousy.”
Exit all but Mrs Ford and Mrs Page
Mrs Page: “Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.”
Mrs Ford: “What think you? May we, with good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?”
Mrs Page: “The spirit of wantonness is sure scar’d out of him. He will never, I think, attempt us again.”
Mrs Ford: “Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?”
Mrs Page: “Yes, by all means. But I would not have things cool just yet.
Summary and Analysis
Falstaff is happy to be at Mistress Ford’s house again but must hide when Mistress Page arrives. Mrs Page insists that Ford is mad with jealousy and rage and she is very relieved not to find the fat knight here in the Ford house, as Ford is approaching with a host of his friends to search for Falstaff. Mrs Ford then admits that Falstaff is here and the knight appears, clearly shaken. He says he will not climb into the laundry basket again and the women decide to dress him up as the maid of Mrs Ford’s aunt, a very large woman, whose clothes happen to be available. The problem is that Ford hates the old witch and will be furious to see her in his house. Once Ford arrives with his entourage, they first check the laundry basket. When there is nothing in it but dirty clothes it seems Ford is heedlessly jealous and paranoid. When Mrs Ford comes down with the old woman, Ford attacks the fat aunt, beating her relentlessly. Falstaff escapes but when Evans remarks that he likes not to see an old witch with a beard Ford takes off after Falstaff. The two wives seem happy with their revenge on Falstaff but prefer to torment him one last time. This entire scene plays as excellent slapstick.
Act IV
Scene iv
Ford’s house
Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford and Sir Hugh Evans
Page: “And did he send you both these letters at an instant?”
Mrs Page: “Within a quarter of an hour.”
Ford: “Pardon me, wife. Henceforth, do what thou will. I rather would suspect the sun with cold than thee with wantonness.”
Page: “Tis well, tis well; no more. But let our plots go forward. Let our wives yet once again appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, where we may take him and disgrace him for it.”
Ford: “There is no better way.”
Page: “How? To send him word they will meet him in the park at midnight? Fie, fie! He’ll never come.”
Evans: “You say he has been thrown into the river and has been grievously beaten; methinks there should be terrors in him, that he should not come; methinks his flesh is punished; he shall have no desires.”
Page: “So think I too.”
Mrs Ford: “Device but how you will use him when he comes, and let us two devise to bring him thither.”
Mrs Page: “There is an old tale goes that Herne the Hunter, sometimes a keeper here in Windsor Forest, does all the winter-time, at still midnight, walk around about an oak, with great ragged horns; and there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle, and shakes a chain in a most hideous and dreadful manner.”
Mrs Ford: “Marry, this is our decice – that Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us, diguised, like Herne, with huge horns on his head.”
Page: “Well, let it not be doubted that he will come, and in this shape. When you have brought him thither, what shall be done with him? What is your plot?”
Mrs Page: “Nan Page, my daughter, and my little son, and three or four more of their growth, we’ll dress like urchins and fairies, with rattles in their hands. Let them all encircle him about, and fairy-like, pinch the unclean knight; and ask him why in their so sacred paths he dares to tread in shape profane.”
Mrs Ford: “And till he tell the truth, let the supposed fairies pinch him sound, and burn him with their tapers.”
Mrs Page: “The truth being known, we’ll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit, and mock him home to Windsor.”
Evans: “I will teach the children their behaviours.”
Ford: “That will be excellent.”
Mrs Page: “My Nan shall be the Queen of all the fairies. and in that time.”
Page: (aside) “And in that time will Master Slender steal my Nan away, and marry her at Eton.”
Evans: “Let us about it with admirable pleasures and fairy honest knaveries.”
Mrs Page: (aside) “I’ll to the doctor; he has my good will, and none but he, to marry with Nan Page. None but he shall have her, though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.”
Summary and Analysis
The two wives have confessed to their husbands their plots against Falstaff, so Ford realizes that his wife is honorable and all is forgiven. Page actually suggests they all work together to humiliate the knight one last time. The plan they concoct is to have Falstaff disguised, this time, as Herne the Hunter, a mean old spirit who hangs around a particular oak tree and terrorizes children. They will then get a host of children to dress and fairies and pinch him and burn him with their tapers, all the while insisting he tell them why he is there at midnight. When he finally is tormented into admitting his dishonorable intentions, he can then be mocked by everyone in Windsor. At the end of the scene Page determines to have his daughter, Anne marry Master Slender, while his wife likewise plots to ensure that Dr Caius marry her. Mr Ford had been foolishly accusing his wife of infidelity with Falstaff, while both of Anne Page’s parents continue to plot over who will be her husband, regardless of what Anne herself thinks.
Act IV
Scene V
The Garter Inn
Enter Host and Simple
Host: “What would thou have, boor?”
Simple: “Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from Master Slender.”
Host: “There’s his chamber. Go knock and call; he’ll speak unto thee.”
Simple: “There’s an old fat woman, gone up into his chamber.”
Host: “Ha! A fat woman? The knight may be robbed. I’ll call him. ‘Bully knight! Bully Sir John! Are you there? It is thy host. Let thy fat woman descend.”
Enter Falstaff
Falstaff: “There was, my host, an old fat woman even now with me, but she’s gone.”
Simple: “Pray you, sir, was it not the old woman of Brainford?”
Falstaff: “Ay, marry it was.”
Enter Mistress Quickly
Falstaff: “Whence come you?”
Quickly: “From Mistresses Ford and Page.”
Falstaff: “The devil and his dam take them both. I have suffered more for their sakes than the villainous inconstancy of man’s disposition is able to bear.”
Quickly: “And have not they suffered? Mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue.”
Falstaff: “I was beaten myself into all the clours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brainford. But that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, delivered me the knave constable had set me in the stocks for a witch.”
Quickly: “Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber; you shall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter to bring you together.”
Falstaff: “Come up into my chamber.”
Summary and Analysis
Back at his chamber, Falstaff is changing from his disguise as the old woman when Mistress Quickly arrives with news from the Merry Wives. Falstaff claims he is done with them, as he was beaten into all the colours of the rainbow, while escaping Ford’s house as the old woman. When Quickly tells him that Mrs Ford too was beaten and has sent Quickly with a letter for Sir John he is once again curious and interested. As hard as it is to imagine, Sir John remains obsessed with having an affair with the Merry Wives. Thus will he be led astray and humiliated yet again.
Act IV
Scene vi
The Garter Inn
Enter Fenton and Host
Host: “Master Fenton, speak not to me.”
Fenton: “Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose, as I am a gentleman.”
Host: “I will hear you, Master Fenton.”
Fenton: “From time to time I have acquainted you with the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page, who, mutually, has answered my affection, even to my wish. Tonight at Herne’s oak, twixt twelve and one, must my sweet Anne present as the Ferry Queen, in which disguise her father has commanded her to slip away with Slender, and with him to immediately marry at Eton. To this she has consented. Her mother, even strong against that match, and firm for Doctor Caius, has appointed that he shall likewise shuffle her away and straight marry her. To this, her mother’s plot, she is seemingly obedient likewise.”
Host: “Which means she to deceive, father or mother?”
Fenton: “Both, my good host, to go along with me. And here it rests – that you’ll procur the vicar to stay for me at church twixt twelve and one, and in the lawful name of marrying, to give our hearts lawful ceremony.”
Host: “I’ll to the vicar. You shall not lack a priest.”
Fenton: “So shall I evermore be bound to you.”
Summary and Analysis
Despite the objections of her parents, Fenton makes it very clear in this scene that Anne and Fenton plan to marry. Three different men will arrive at Herne’s tree at midnight with the expectation of marrying Anne Page.
Act V
Scene i
The Garter Inn
Enter Falstaff and Mistress Quickly
Falstaff: “Prithee, no more prattling; go. This is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go.”
Quickly: “I’ll provide you a chain, and I’ll do what I can to get you a pair of horns.”
Falstaff: “Away, I say; time wears.”
Enter Ford, disguised
Falstaff: “How now, Master Brook! Master Brook, the matter will be known tonight or never. Be you in the park about midnight, at Herne’s Oak, and you shall see wonders.”
Ford: “Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed?”
Falstaff: “I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man; but I came from her, Master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford, her husband, has the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, Master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you – he beat me grievously in the shape of a woman. I am in haste; go along with me; I’ll tell you all, Master Brook. I knew not was it was to be beaten till lately. Follow me. I’ll tell you strange things of this knave Ford, on whom tonight I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow. Strange things in hand, Master Brook! Follow.”
Summary and Analysis
Falstaff tells Quickly that he will keep his third appointment with Ford, but only hopes it goes better than the first two encounters. Ford, disguised as Brook, enters and Falstaff tells him that everything will be decided at the park at midnight. He also admits that on the previous day he was forced to be disguised as a woman and was beaten by Ford and wants revenge. Little does he know that he is actually addressing Ford. Things go from bad to worse for Falstaff and we have no reason to believe that this will not continue in the final act in the park at midnight, as the wives, Ford and Quickly, are aligned against him once again. It is a comedy, so we can be certain he will survive and he is so beloved a character, we might even expect him to be reconciled to his detractors.
Act V
Scene ii
Windsor Park
Enter Page, Shallow and Slender
Page: “Come, come; we’ll couch in the castle ditch till we see our fairies. Remember, son Slender, my daughter.”
Slender: “Ay, forsooth. I come to her in white and by that we know one another.”
Page: “The night is dark. Heaven prosper our sport. No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his horns. Let’s away!”
Summary and Analysis
The wheels are in motion for the final humiliation of Sir John.
Act V
Scene iii
A street leading to the park
Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Ford and Dr Caius
Mrs Page: “Master Doctor, my daughter is in green; when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly.”
Caius: “I know vat I have to do, adieu.” (exit Caius)
Mrs Page: “My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff as he will chafe at the doctor’s marrying my daughter; but tis no matter; better a little chiding than a great deal of heartbreak.”
Mrs Ford: “Where is Nan now and her troop of fairies?”
Mrs Page: “They are all couched in a pit by Herne’s Oak with obscured lights, which at the very instant of our meeting with Falstaff, will at once display to the night.”
Mrs Ford: “That cannot choose but amaze him.”
Mrs Page: “If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.”
Mrs Ford: “We’ll betray him finely.”
Mrs Page: “Against such lewdsters and their lechery, those who betray them do no treachery.“
Mrs Ford: “The hour draws on. To the oak, to the oak!
Summary and Analysis
Both Mr. and Mrs Page think they have their preferred suitors all lined up to marry their daughter, Anne. The two wives justify their torment of Falstaff because of his status as a lewdster and a lecher. They have been on to him from the very start.
Act V
Scene iv
Windsor Park
Enter Sir Hugh Evans like a satyr, with others as fairies
Evans: “Fairies come, and remember your parts. Be bold, I pray you. Come, come.”
Summary and Analysis
The final preparations are being set to ensnarl Sir John a third and final time. The stage is set.
Act V
Scene v
Another part of the park
Enter Falsaff disguised as Herne
Falstaff: “The Windsor bell has struck twelve. Now the hot blooded gods assist me! Remember, Jove, thou was a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns. O powerful love, that in some respects makes a beast a man; in some other a man a beast. You were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love of Lida. O omnipotent love! For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, in the forest. Who comes here? My doe?”
Enter Mrs Ford and Mrs Page
Mrs Ford: “Sir John, Art thou there, my deer, my male deer?”
Falstaff: “My doe. Let the sky thunder to the tune of Greensleeves; let there come a tempest of provocation. I will shelter me here.” (embracing her)
Mrs Ford: “Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.”
Falstaff: “My horns I bequeath your husbands. Speak I like Herne the Hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution.”
A noise
Mrs Page: “Alas! What noise?”
Mrs Ford: “Heaven forgive our sins.”
Falstaff: “What should this be?”
They run off
Falstaff: “I think the devil will not have me damned, lest the oil that’s in me should set hell on fire.“
Enter Sir Hugh Evans, like a satyr, Anne Page as a fairy and others as Fairy Queen and fairies and hobgoblins, all with tapers.
Fairy Queen: “Fairies, you moonshine revellers, you orphan heirs of fixed identity, attend your office.”
Falstaff: “They are fairies.”
Fairy Queen: “Meadow fairies, look you sing. Away, disperse; but till tis one o’clock, our dance of custom round about the oak of Herne the Hunter let us not forget.”
Evans: “But, stay. I smell a man of middle earth.”
Falstaff: “Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he transform me into a piece of cheese.”
Fairy Queen: “With trial-fire touch me his finger-end; if he be chaste, the flame will back descend, and turn him to no pain; but if he start, it is the flesh of a corrupted heart.”
Evans: “Will this wood take fire?”
They put the tapers to his fingers, and he starts
Falstaff: “Oh, oh, oh!”
Fairy Queen: “Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire! About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme; and, as you trip, still pinch him to your time.
The Song
Fie on sinful fantasy! Fie on lust and luxury! Lust is but a bloody fire, kindled with unchaste desire. Pinch him fairies, mutually; Pinch him for his villainy; Pinch him and burn him and turn him about, till candles and star-light and moonshine be out.
During this song they pinch Falstaff. Caius comes one way and takes away a fairy in green; Slender comes another way, and takes away a fairy in white; and Fenton steals away Anne Page. All the fairies run away. Falstaff pulls off his buck’s head and rises.
Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford and Sir Hugh Evans
Mrs Page: “I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher. Now, good Sir John, how do you like Windsor wives? See you these, husbands?”
Ford: “Now, sir, who’s a cuckold now? Master Brook, Falstaff’s a knave; here are his horns, and Master Brook, he has enjoyed nothing of Ford’s but his buck-basket, his cudgel and twenty pounds of money, which must be paid to Master Brook.”
Mrs Ford: “Sir John, we have had ill luck; we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again; but I will always count you my deer.”
Falstaff: “I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.”
Ford: “Ay, and an Ox too.”
Falstaff: “And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought they were not fairies; and yet the guiltiness of my mind drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief.”
Evans: “Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you.”
Ford: “Well said, fairy Hugh.”
Evans: “And leave you your jealousies too, I pray you.”
Ford: “I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English.”
Falstaff: “Well, I am dejected. Ignorance itself is a plummet over me; use me as you will.”
Page: “Yet be cheerful, knight; thou shall eat tonight at my house, where I will desire thee to laugh at my wife, who now laughs at thee. Tell her Master Slender has married her daughter.”
Mrs Page: (aside) “Doctors doubt that; if Anne Page be my daughter, she is, by this, Dr Caius’ wife.”
Enter Slender
Slender: “Whoa, ho, ho, father Page. I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page, and she’s a great lubberly boy.”
Page: “Upon my life, then, you took the wrong. This is your own folly.”
Mrs Page: “Good husband, be not angry. She is now with the doctor at the deanery, and they’re married.”
Enter Caius
Caius: “Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I have married un garcon, a boy; it is not Anne Page.”
Ford: “This is strange. Who has got the right Anne.”
Page: “My heart misgives me; here comes Master Fenton.”
Enter Fenton and Anne Page
Anne: “Pardon, good father. Good mother, pardon.”
Page: “Now, Mistress, how chance you went not with Master Slender?”
Mrs Page: “Why went you not with Master Doctor, maid?”
Fenton: “You do amaze her. Hear the truth of it. You would have married her most shamefully, where there was no proportion held in love. The truth is, she and I, long since contracted, are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us. The offence is is holy that she has committed; and this deceit loses the name of craft, or disobedience, since therein she does shun a thousand irreligious cursed hours, which forced marriage would have brought upon her.”
Page: “Well Fenton, heaven give thee joy! What cannot be eschewed must be embraced.”
Mrs Page: “Well, I will muse no further. Master Fenton, heaven give you many, many merry days! Good husband, let us everyone go home, and laugh this sport over by a country fire; Sir John and all.”
Ford: “Let it be so, Sir John, to Master Brook you yet shall hold your word; for he, tonight, shall lie with Mistress Ford.”
Summary and Analysis
Falstaff arrives in the park disguised as Herne, wearing large horns. He meets up with the Merry Wives and is delighted until he hears the supernatural sounds of the ferries, which terrify him. They then begin to burn him with their tapers and pinch him repeatedly. In the confusion Dr Caius departs with a boy wearing white, Slender does the same with a boy in green and Fenton and Ann run away together. The ferries all run off together and Falstaff is left to face the Merry Wives and their husbands. Ford reveals that he was, in fact, Brook and Falstaff realizes that he has been had yet again. Ford promises not to distrust his wife again and Mistress Page asks Falstaff if he really thought the wives would have compromised their honour for such an unattractive drunken old man. Falstaff admits defeat and says they can all do what they will with him. Ford wants to take him back to Windsor and make him repay all of his many debts. But Page invites him back to the feast at his house in honour of his daughter’s wedding. Slender and Dr Caius arrive upset that they have married young boys instead of Anne. The Fords wonders who in fact did marry Anne, when she and Fenton walk in and announce their marriage. Fenton tells them they were wrong to try to marry Anne to men she did not love and they are all reconciled. As they head off to the feast Ford tells Falstaff that his promise to Brooke will come true, as Brooke is about to seduce Mrs Ford.
Final Thoughts
The Merry Wives of Windsor was commissioned by Queen Elizabeth herself. There is no reason whatsoever to imagine such a play without her determination that it be written. She was so enamoured of the fat knight in Henry IV, Part I late in 1596 and Henry IV, Part II early in 1597 that she commanded and directed him to complete, in April, 1597, in just fourteen days, one more Falstaff play that would show him in love. It was to be performed at the Feast of St George in Windsor Castle, organized by the Knights of the Garter. And indeed it was. Shakespeare set the play in Windsor and made frequent allusions to the castle and the Garter Inn. Few have ever maintained that even Shakespeare himself could have possibly composed a completely new play in just two weeks time, so it is assumed that he revised an old one and the most likely candidate is ‘A Jealous Comedy’, first performed in 1593 by the combined Admiral’s and Strange’s Men. The evidence is in similar lines recited in the horse stealing scene and by Dr Caius. One can only imagine what those two weeks must have been like for the 33 year old playwright, actor and director coming into his prime.
Merry Wives in one of the most enjoyed plays in the canon, with its tale of the lovable rogue, Falstaff, getting his comeuppance at the hands of the women he hopes to compromise. It is also one of the best constructed farces in the business. The title suggests the lead characters are the wives themselves but the star of the play is certainly the rambunctious Falstaff, who drops into the dull world of Windsor and turns it on its head. The housewives who he thinks will be easily had, the Merry Mistresses Ford and Page, quickly turn the tables on him and he is repeatedly humiliated but eventually reconciled in the end with both the wives and their husbands.
Not everyone, however, was pleased with The Merry Wives of Windsor. William Hazlitt said that while it is no doubt a very amusing play he should have like it much better if anyone else had been the lead instead of Falstaff. Indeed, he is hardly the same man as he was in the two parts of Henry IV, as his wit and eloquence have left him and instead of making a butt of others, he is made a butt of by them. The great Harold Bloom was devastated by this portrayal of Falstaff, calling him pseudo-Falstaff and a rank imposter. It is a puzzle to him why Shakespeare subjected poor Sir John to such a ‘mindless laceration, a bear bating with Falstaff in love as the bear.’ He concludes, ‘you can cram any fat man into a basket and get a laugh, but it does not have to be Falstaff, nor need his creator by Shakespeare.’ Many have echoed this sentiment, wondering why Shakespeare would inflict this play on the character who represents his own wit at its most triumphant.
Nonetheless it is a play that pleases the many audiences and stages it has graced. It has always been among Shakespeare’s most popular works. It may be a hard play to take seriously but since when was it expected to be? Shakespeare wrote many crowd pleasers and they were not all tragedies. Youtube has countless examples of its productions that impress. Simply type Merry Wives of Windsor full plays and take your pick.
William Shakespeare: Journey Through Genius 